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[小说] 特种屁王在都市

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发表于 2019-12-11 15:25:00 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
卷一   战争
第一章
“嗵嗵嗵嗵”荒无人烟的城市里,整齐地踏步声在周围回响,这是一支装备精良的小队,她们虽然装备精良,但下半身统一都穿的裙子,此时若是有一位痴汉窥伺裙底,会惊奇地发现这只小队的队员都没穿内裤。
“队长,周围已经没有丧尸了,可以回总部了吧。”一位身材高挑的队员有些抱怨,这已经是第四次巡逻了。
“不行,不能放松警惕。这次巡逻过后在进行最后一次巡逻,你们就可以休息了。”队长的表情掩盖在头盔下,假如没有头盔,她应该是严肃的表情吧。
“发现普通丧失,呼叫G1,呼叫G1,请立刻前往消灭。”队长敏锐的眼睛发现了不远处有一只落单的丧尸,她呼叫G1前去击杀。G1就是刚才抱怨的高挑女子,她拿出一个医院里输气的工具(我也不知道叫什么,知道的可以透露一下),把塑料管子插入肛门,小跑来到丧尸处。
“呃……吼!”慢悠悠地丧尸闻到了气味,脑得像机械一般撇过去,速度突然爆发,冲向了G1。
“再见了,小丧尸。”G1笑了一下,可惜只有G1自己知道自己笑了一下,因为她戴着头盔(这种头盔是里面看得见外面,而外面却看不见里面的那种)
卟—————
G1的肛门里涌出了许多臭屁,冲进了管道。而G1则把另一边扣到了丧尸鼻子连嘴巴这一块儿上。
丧尸开始猛烈挣扎起来,爪子刨到G1身上的盔甲却没什么用。
噗~~卟噜噜,卟——————噗呲
G1见丧尸开始反抗,立即加大了剂量,丧尸动弹了几下,头一歪,死了。
丧尸病毒是与几个月前开始感染全球的,那天,全球人民该干啥干啥,天空突然闪过一道光,许多人感觉身上十分燥热,狂躁了起来。这还只是初期,中期,感染了病毒的人皮肤开始溃烂,不断的往外流脓,指甲也渐渐长了起来。后期,被感染的人已经变成了一个丧尸,会疯狂的撕咬人类,被撕咬的人则也会被感染。这个丧尸大部队中,有些高级丧尸,如智力远超其他丧尸,力量高于其他丧尸等等,有些丧尸甚至觉醒了异能,如控火,控水一类的。幸存的人类开始抱团,有些人发现,幸存者都是美丽女性,怀疑这其中有什么秘密。人类经过长时间实验,终于发现了:这群丧尸不怕枪,不怕被车撞,甚至核弹爆发都还会留有一些残余,残余会自主复原。但这群无敌的丧尸,唯一有一个弱点,怕屁!这听起来或许很搞笑,但事实如此,谁也无法改变。
现在的这只小队,可以被称作是全球最强的小队之一了,她们在与丧尸一次次的拼杀中,得到了成长。
…………………………………………………………………
“好了,那些残余丧尸都清理了,返回总部吧。”队长冷冷地说,她们又巡逻了一遍,队长看了一眼浮在天空中的巨大建筑。
其实,就是浮在空中的巨大建筑中,有不少男性,是唯一一个有男性的地方了。这里叫起点孤儿院,没有一名感染者。起点孤儿院中,大能云集,但凡有一只丧尸靠近,你就会看到这样一个景象:一位大能浮在空中,轻轻一个弹指,丧尸所在的那片地区,会有一个深不见底的峡谷出现。
起点孤儿院从不招收外人,外人也无法入内,里面每一个孤儿都是集天地气运为一身的大佬。
…………………………………………………………………
“编号G0123456小队队长G0,听到请回答,听到请回答,张博士邀请,张博士邀请。”小队队长刚回到总部,准备喝杯咖啡休息一下的时候,她的通讯器却响了,她只好快步前往张博士的研究所。
“身份验证,滴!姓名晨曦,编号G0,权限等级3(最高为5),可以入内。”研究所大门外,晨曦顺利的通过了。她进入研究所内,张博士正带着眼镜,拿着仪器,研究一具丧尸的尸体。
“你来了啊,晨曦。想看看我最新的研究成果吗?”张博士打开电脑,点开了一个文件,上面密密麻麻的小字占据了屏幕。
“说吧,什么事。”晨曦面无表情地说,“你知道我看不懂的。”
“哈哈,你还是那么幽默。给你说吧,我通过研究丧尸发现了丧尸属于比我们人类更高一级的生命体,它们有着无限的生命,不需要吃,不需要睡,除了智力低下以外。不过,我发现了一个可以去掉这个弱点的方法,我研究出的药剂,你看,它上面散发着的光多么迷人啊,只要我注射了它,我就成了更高级的生命体,并且是一个拥有人类智慧的。你要和我一起享用吗?”张博士前面还带着渴望,说到后面,表情变成了欣喜,并拿出一支散发着诡异光芒的药剂。
“你在说什么啊?张雨绮,这可是丧尸,毁掉人类的丧尸啊!”晨曦激动起来,生气的对张博士说。
“好吧,我早就知道你有很大可能不会用的。原谅我,晨曦,这是我最后一次给你放屁了。”张博士扶了扶眼镜,毫不意外地说。
卟~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
张博士的私人实验室,已经被张博士的屁填满了,就算是久经沙场的晨曦,也没能抵挡住,在晨曦不可置信的眼神中,张博士使用了那只药剂,晨曦就昏了过去。
………………………………………………………………
“队长,你醒醒,你醒醒啊!”晨曦的小队成员围在晨曦周围。
“嘶,呕,怎么回事,我记起来了,雨绮,唉……”晨曦醒了过来,自言自语,好像疯了一般。
“队长你醒了,张雨绮已经叛变了,她现在已经变成了一个丧尸,她就是整次丧尸事件的凶手!!!张雨绮研发药剂时不小心泄漏,感染了一个研究员,这也就算了,她竟然把废弃药剂批量制造,以雾的形式投放到全世界,因为太阳光照射,照在雾上,所以有光。”G3愤怒中夹带着一丝悲伤,向晨曦说明了一切。
“队长,指挥官已经亲自出战了,可恶,明明我们不是已经把这座城市里的丧尸清空了吗?可是为什么又钻出来这么多。”G3刚说完,G1又接着说。
“编号G0123456小队队长晨曦,前……前往指挥室!”总部的广播里突然传来了撕心裂肺地吼声,大家知道,这是指挥官。指挥官与平时一样命令着她们,可又有些不同,她不在称晨曦为G0而是直接喊她的名字。这种感觉,就像……就像被逼入了绝境一样。
“是!执行命令!”晨曦落泪了,她立正,行了一个军礼,走向指挥室。她知道,指挥官听不见她说的这句话了。
“队长,等你回来,我们一起去战场!”G0123456小队全员(除晨曦外)朝晨曦呼喊,她们是留守总部的最后一支小队。
………………………………………………………………
“身份验证,成功!”身份验证装置也有些不同,它让晨曦直接通过了。
“编号G0,晨曦,你好,这段话是在你昏迷时录下的。人类已经完了,但是,还有最后一种方法,那就是时光机!这听起来很不可思议,但这就是最后一种方法了。至于为什么要选你,因为你是最了解张雨绮的人了,只有你能阻止悲剧再次发生。桌面上的药剂是为了让你更好的打败张雨绮,而特制的。那么,人类最后的希望,加油了!”晨曦踏入房间,房间开始自动播放指挥官录下的话,是晨曦看向了那支注射器和那台机器。
“基地已遭入侵,警报,警报。”晨曦正在沉思,突然,警铃大作,晨曦不由自主地望向了下方。
一大群丧尸如涌潮一样,冲进了平时防御严谨的基地,她的队员开始战斗起来,很快便被尸潮淹没了。
这幅场景彻底冲破了晨曦的心理防线,她一言不发地走向注射器,拿起注射后,躺进了那台机器。
“叮~开始时光倒流,只有时间会倒流,您自身不会发生变化哦。”熟悉的机械音再次响起,晨曦昏迷了。
(卷一,完。)

一个喜欢乱开坑还不填的傻b
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 楼主| 发表于 2019-12-11 15:25:28 | 显示全部楼层
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参与人数 1 +10 收起 理由
傻子 + 10 让牛吃草,是为了让他跟好的吃,啊呸耕地.

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发表于 2019-12-11 20:21:40 | 显示全部楼层
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 楼主| 发表于 2019-12-11 20:27:33 | 显示全部楼层
谷歌翻译出来的英文版有一些没翻译出来
Volume 1 War
Chapter One
In the uninhabited city of “嗵 嗵 嗵 嗵”, neat steps echoed around. This is a well-equipped squad. Although they are well-equipped, they wear uniform skirts on their lower bodies. At this time, if there is a idiot spying on the skirt  , Will be surprised to find that the team members are not wearing underwear.
"Captain, there are no zombies around, you can go back to the headquarters." A tall player complained, this is the fourth patrol.
"No, you can't relax your vigilance. You can rest after the last patrol after this patrol." The captain's expression was covered under the helmet. If there is no helmet, she should have a serious expression.
"If you find a normal loss, call G1, call G1, please go immediately to destroy it." The captain's keen eyes found a single zombie not far away, and she called G1 to kill him.  G1 is the tall woman who complained just now. She took out a gas delivery tool in the hospital (I do n’t know what it ’s called, you can tell it), inserted a plastic tube into the anus, trot to the zombies.
"Uh ... roar!" The zombie slowly smelled the scent, his brain moved away like a machine, and the speed suddenly broke out and rushed to G1.
"Goodbye, little zombies." G1 smiled. Unfortunately, only G1 knew that he smiled because she was wearing a helmet (the helmet is the type that can see the inside but not the inside).
Porphyry ————
G1 had a lot of stinky farts in his anus and rushed into the pipe.  G1 buckled the other side to the zombie nose and mouth.
The zombies began to struggle violently, but the armor that had their claws on G1 was useless.
噗 ~~ 噜噜
G1 saw the zombies start to resist, immediately increased the dose, the zombies moved a few times, his head tilted, and he died.
The zombie virus began to infect the world a few months ago. On that day, what should people all over the world do, and a sudden light flashed from the sky, many people felt very hot and frantic.  This is just the beginning, in the middle period, the skin of people infected with the virus begins to fester, and the pus continues to flow out, and the nails gradually grow.  In the later period, the infected person has become a zombie, and will bite humans frantically, and the bitten person will also be infected.  In this zombie army, some high-level zombies, such as intelligence far superior to other zombies, more powerful than other zombies, etc., some zombies even awakened abilities, such as fire control, water control and the like.  The surviving humans began to hold together, and some people found that the survivors were all beautiful women and wondered what the secret was.  After a long period of experiments, humans finally discovered that these zombies are not afraid of guns, are not afraid of being hit by cars, and even some nuclear bombs will leave some remnants, and the remnants will recover on their own.  But this group of invincible zombies has the only weakness, afraid of farts!  This may sound funny, but in fact, no one can change it.
Now this squad can be called one of the strongest squads in the world. They have grown up in the battle with the zombies.
………………………………………………………………
"Well, all the remaining zombies have been cleaned up, and return to the headquarters." The captain said coldly, they patrol again, the captain glanced at the huge building floating in the sky.
In fact, there are many men in the huge building floating in the air, which is the only place with men.  This is called the starting point orphanage, and there is no one infected.  In the orphanage of the starting point, power gathered, but whenever a zombies approached, you would see such a scene: a power floating in the air, a light finger, there will be a deep disappearance in the area where the zombies are located  The canyon at the bottom appeared.
Starting Point The orphanage never recruits outsiders, and outsiders cannot enter. Every orphan in the orphanage is a big man who gathers the luck of the world.
………………………………………………………………
"No. G0123456 Team leader G0, please answer if you hear, please answer when you hear, Dr. Zhang invites, Dr. Zhang invites." When the team leader returned to the headquarters and was preparing for a coffee break, her communicator rang.  She had to hurry to Dr. Zhang's institute.
"Identity verification, drop! Name Chen Xi, number G0, permission level 3 (up to 5), can enter." Outside the gate of the institute, Chen Xi passed smoothly.  She entered the institute. Dr. Zhang was wearing glasses and holding an instrument to study a dead body.
"You are here, Chen Xi. Want to see my latest research results?" Dr. Zhang turned on the computer, opened a file, and the small letters on it occupied the screen.
"Say, what's the matter," Chen Xi said blankly, "you know I can't understand."
"Haha, you are still so humorous. Let me tell you, through researching zombies, I found that zombies belong to a higher level of life than our human beings. They have unlimited life, do not need to eat, do not need to sleep, except for mental retardation.  However, I found a way to remove this weakness. The potion I researched, you see, how charming the light emitted from it is, as long as I inject it, I will become a more advanced life form, and  It is a man with human wisdom. Would you like to enjoy it with me? "Dr. Zhang was still eager in front, and his expression turned to joy, and he took out a potion with a strange light.
"What are you talking about? Zhang Yuqi, this is a zombie, destroying human zombies!" Chen Xi was excited and said to Dr. Zhang angrily.
"Well, I already knew that you probably wouldn't use it. Forgive me, Chen Xi, this is the last time I fart for you." Dr. Zhang raised his glasses and said without surprise.
Porphy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dr. Zhang's private laboratory has been filled with Dr. Zhang's fart. Even the long-lasting morning light has not been able to resist it. In the incredible eyes of morning light, Dr. Zhang used that potion and morning light fainted.  Passed.
………………………………………………………………
"Captain, you wake up, you wake up!" Chen Xi's team members gathered around Chen Xi.
"His, vomit, what's going on, I remember, Yu Qi, oh ..." Chen Xi woke up and said to himself, as if crazy.
"Captain, you are awake, Zhang Yuqi has betrayed, she has now become a zombie, she is the murderer of the entire zombie incident !!! Zhang Yuqi accidentally leaked while developing a potion, infected a researcher, and that ’s it, she  Actually, the waste medicaments were manufactured in batches and put into the world in the form of fog. Because the sun shines and shines on the fog, there is light. "G3 was angry with a trace of sadness and explained everything to Chen Xi.
"Captain, the commander has already fought in person, abominable, obviously we have not emptied the zombies in this city? But why have so many drilled out." G3 just finished, G1 went on to say.
"Number G0123456, team leader Chen Xi, forward ... to the command room!" A heartbreaking roar came from the radio at the headquarters. As you know, this is the commander.  The commander ordered them as usual, but was a little different. Instead of calling Chen Xi G0, she called her name directly.  It felt like ... as if forced into despair.
"Yes! Carry out the order!" Chen Xi cried, and she stood up, performed a military salute, and walked to the command room.  She knew that the commander couldn't hear her.
"Captain, when you come back, let's go to the battlefield!" G0123456 team members (except Chen Xi) shouted towards Chen Xi, they are the last team left behind at the headquarters.
………………………………………………………………
"Authentication, success!" The authentication device is also a bit different, it let Chenxi pass directly.
"Number G0, Chen Xi, hello, this passage was recorded when you were unconscious. Humans are over, but there is one last method, that is, the time machine! This sounds incredible, but this is the last one.  It ’s a way. As for why I chose you, because you are the one who knows Zhang Yuqi best, only you can prevent the tragedy from happening again. The potion on the desktop is specially designed to let you better defeat Zhang Yuqi. Then, human beings finally  Hope, come on! "Chen Xi stepped into the room, and the room began to automatically play the words recorded by the commander. Chen Xi looked at the syringe and the machine.
"The base has been invaded, alert, alert." Chen Xi was meditating. Suddenly, the alarm bell was mastering, and Chen Xi involuntarily looked down.
A large group of zombies rushed into the usual rigorous base like a tide, and her team members began to fight, and soon they were drowned by the tide.
This scene completely broke through Chen Xi's psychological defense line, she walked to the syringe without saying a word, picked up the injection, and lay into the machine.
"Ding ~ At the beginning, time goes backwards, only time will go backwards, and you will not change yourself." The familiar mechanical sound rang again, and Chen Xi was unconscious.
(Volume one, end.)
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发表于 2019-12-11 20:34:30 | 显示全部楼层
七行缺钙 发表于 2019-12-11 20:27
谷歌翻译出来的英文版有一些没翻译出来
Volume 1 War
Chapter One

还是写游戏那个吧
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发表于 2019-12-11 20:44:04 | 显示全部楼层
111111111111111111111111111111
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发表于 2019-12-11 22:45:39 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
又有一篇很有意思的文章。作者加油!
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原创作者论坛元老银屁勋章

发表于 2019-12-11 23:22:40 | 显示全部楼层

這是小說翻譯還是新坑?
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 楼主| 发表于 2019-12-12 06:46:01 | 显示全部楼层
光明之心 发表于 2019-12-11 23:22
這是小說翻譯還是新坑?

新坑,那个英文只是我把中文版复制到谷歌翻译上了
一个喜欢乱开坑还不填的傻b
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发表于 2019-12-12 08:59:08 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
七行缺钙 发表于 2019-12-12 06:46
新坑,那个英文只是我把中文版复制到谷歌翻译上了

這篇有男主嗎?
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